Step Work

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Of all the tools, step work can be the most challenging yet the most rewarding. After finishing yet another 4th and 5th step I thought the hard work was past me until I got to step 9. I told myself that steps 6 and 7 are just about recognizing my defects and letting my Higher Power "fix them" and then I would just gracefully move on. Uh, I was sadly mistaken. In working the 6th and 7th I have come upon numerous defects that I have been carrying my entire life. And in becoming willing for HP to remove these defects of character I have to look them dead in the eye, confront them, accept them, work through any emotions surrounding them and only then can I be willing for HP to remove them. A recent character defect slammed me to the ground this past weekend, I had to admit something I had been carrying for a long time and living full throttle for the last 10 months in one specific situation. Oh the shame, oh the pain and the anger around "why am I still living this way?" and "I don't WANT to live this way!" So, as usual, the beauty of the program and all the tools that I can use to work through this have been amazing. Am I on the other side of this yet? No but pretty darn close. Have I come a long way in just catching it after 2 days (as opposed to 10 years!)? Yes. I will ride the wave as this too shall pass. I'm so grateful that there is a local meeting today and I will be there, maybe not with bells on, but I will be there!

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Vacations and Business Travel

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Prior to program going on vacation and traveling on business were all about going whole hog in regards to my compulsive overeating and just compulsive behaviors all together. It was my excuse to go over the top by telling myself "it's my break" or "I deserve this" or "I'm in a new state/country so I should try new things." Overeating, over drinking, not taking care of myself, staying up late, not getting rest was my focus when on vacation/traveling. Even early in program vacations and business travel were an excuse for me to take a mini-vacations from program. The longer I'm in program, the more I learn that taking my program on vacation/business travel with me is much more fulfilling than leaving it behind. My program will not be exactly like it is when I'm at home, but if I plan properly I can continue to work it to the best of my ability and stay sane. I plan my food and I take food items with me when possible (depending on air travel, etc). These days the best vacations/business travels that I have had have been when I continue to work my program and stay on my plan NOT when I indulge. I can still try new things, I can still have fun…but it's no longer about the food, the gluttony and the over indulgence. I traveled this past week and worked my program to the best of my ability, connected with my Higher Power each day, stuck to my plan of eating and laughed more than I have in a long time. And, it was traveling for work! I have found a new freedom and a new happiness but working my program and keeping the sanity, the peace and the serenity no matter where I go.

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Shoulds…

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Should has become such a strong and powerful word for me since entering program. I have often been plagued by "I should do…" (usually based on what I think others think I should be doing) or that I should act a certain way (because what will others think of me). Or it could be just around living up to that standard of perfection that I should be all things to all people…family, friends, work, etc. At other times I look back on mistakes or things that didn't go well and tell myself "I should have…" Well, actually I could have done it differently but now I have learned from the experience and can do it differently in the future if I choose to. In the area of "I should" based on others opinions, perceptions, judgments I had a sponsee share with me that others opinions are none of my business. That is absolutely true. I can trust myself. I can fully put trust in my Higher Power AND myself and know that I can make sound decisions, good choices and hold up to my values and not anyone else's. Bottom line is that if I act a certain way, do something or make a choice based on what I "think" others expect I'm probably going to walk out on the other side with a resentment. So, there's another entirely different issue to tackle! I think I'll stay on this side of the street.

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do no represent OA as a whole.

The Life Jacket Called Higher Power

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I was reading about fear last week and the final message was that we have a life jacket called a Higher Power around us all the time. It was such a great analogy. I can easily take myself to that place of fear whether it be around a change, a transition, a mistake, concern over a child, or just a fear of the unknown. But this reading was a great reminder that I'm always wearing my life jacket of my Higher Power and that no matter what I have to face or what I undertake He will be there to make sure I don't drown. And heaven knows, at times I do feeling like I'm drowning or at least only keeping my head above water. The beauty of this program is we can turn our will and our lives over to a Higher Power, let go of control and manipulation and changing others and He will be there to guide us, to lead us, to show us the way. What a freedom, what a joy.
 
The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole. 

August Intergroup Meeting

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August 13, 2011
10:00 amto2:00 pm

 

 

 

 

AUGUST INTERGROUP MEETING

Unitarian-Universalist Church 

5603 Hilltop Road

Jamestown, NC 27282

 

All OA members are welcome to attend for any portion or all of the meeting.

All voices are needed.

The Intergroup exists to serve the meetings and members in the Triad area.


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