Choice

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I'm learning that I have a choice. Each day when I wake up, I have a choice to take a positive outlook on life or a negative outlook on my day. I have a choice as to whether or not I want to work my program, call my sponsor, or eat my feelings away. I also have a choice of living in the problem or working the solution. I know the best way for me is to choose the positive outlook, call my sponsor, work my program, not eat no matter what and to work the solution and get out of the problem. Some days are harder than others. But, the more I plow through and move forward and TRY, the more likely I am to come out on the other side. Each day when I open my eyes, I ask God to step in, show me and help me with those choices and to make the right ones to the best of my ability and accept my life just as it is…perfect.
 
The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Eating over it equals two problems

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When I'm feeling angry, tired, lonely, frustrated, sad, sick, etc. and I decide to eat over it, well, I end up with two problems. I've learned that when I add one problem on top of another it takes much longer to unsurface the true issue at hand. So, when those feelings pop up or struggles are placed before me I choose to tackle them head on and embrace them instead of eating. Eating over it doesn't give me the satisfaction that it used to give me in the past. Eating over it no longer covers up whatever I'm trying to hide. And the "high" from eating doesn't last as long and the crash is even harder. Thank God for recovery!! So, when that knee jerk reaction hits me and I open the fridge or the pantry I stop and try to determine if I'm hungry, feeling something uncomfortable, or running from something that hurts. Then I can close the door, open my heart, invite God in and tackle the issue at hand.
 
The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Conversation with God

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Me: God, can I ask you a question?
 
God: Sure.
 
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
 
God: I promise.
 
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
 
God: What do you mean?
 
Me: Well, I woke up late.
 
God: Yes.
 
Me: My car took forever to start.
 
God: Okay.
 
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
 
God: Hmmm.
 
Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call.
 
God: Okay.
 
Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in
my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right
today! Why did you do that?
 
God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I
had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you
sleep through that.
 
Me: (humbled): OH…
 
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your
route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
 
Me: (ashamed)
 
God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn't
want you to catch what he has.
I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
 
Me: (embarrassed): Ok…
 
God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to
give false witness about what you said during that call. I didn't even let
you talk to them so that you would be covered.
 
Me: (softly) I see, God.
 
God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all
of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the
dark.
 
Me: I'm sorry God.
 
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the
bad.
 
Me: I will trust you.
 
God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your
plan.
 
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything
today.
 
God: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God, and I
love looking after my children.
 
Keep this going if you believe in HIM. You never know who needs to receive
this message.
 
Enjoy life now……..it has an expiration date!

Acceptance

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How can I accept each day as exactly the way it should be? How can I accept that every person, place and situation are in my life for a reason? My Higher Power has never failed me and no matter how tough things have been in my life, I have always been taken care of. Just as I have moved to a place of thinking that I would be unable to take another step forward, my Higher Power proves to me that trusting is what allows the tough times to pass. Life isn't easy and working a solid program doesn't mean that my life will be "idiot proof." Program allows me to handle those difficult people and situations and know that this too shall pass. It's not what's happening in my life that matters but how I react to it.

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Routine

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Some times in program and in life I get into the same old routine and become bored/tired. It's the same old practices with program, some old schedule waking up each morning and going to work and then each evening being a taxi service to my kids. While I do my best to have time for me and to relax, I can get into a mode where I feel like a robot. It's up to me to spice things up and change things up as I'm my own worst enemy. Maybe it's time for a new reading each day in regards to program, maybe it's as simple as taking a different way to work. The biggest thing for me is having some fun and some excitement. Yes, I'm a working mom and have a lot on my plate in regards to responsibilities, but it just takes a little bit of time to have some fun and be spontaneous. I don't have to over complicate things and having fun and being spontaneous doesn't have to cost a lot of money. I don't have to be so structured and so serious all of the time and I notice the older I get, the easier it is to fall in the pattern of doing, going and being so serious. This week I commit to myself to have some fun each day, to liven things up and to add some spontaneity to the family!
 
The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Trust

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How can I trust everything that happens in my life is supposed to be happening? How can I believe each and every day that I'm exactly where I should be? Some days are easier than others and some days I have to act as if. However, if I turn to the tools of program and my Higher Power I can create the shift that allows me to accept where I am, what is going on and every challenge that is put before me. The only way for me is trust along with doing the footwork. I can't sit back and think that my Higher Power is going to magically make me willing or put me in a place of acceptance. I have to work each day to change my thinking, to trust, to free fall. Some days I work harder than others but I believe that's the cycle of life. There is no magic answer, no magic pill, no magic at all that's going to make life perfect and "then things will be OK." For today I'm living life on life's terms, the good and the bad and waking up each morning grateful for what I have and the many, many blessings I have experienced along the way.
 
 
The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.
 

Same old, same old

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FEAR

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Gratitude and a shift in thinking

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I woke up this morning with a sore throat and runny nose and immediately my mind went to that negative place of "here we go again." With the weather change and kids back in school it's just a part of life. So, the path I wanted to take was to feel sorry for myself in that I had the kids to get ready for school and tons of work at the office, blah, blah, blah. Instead, I worked a mental gratitude list. I have 3 great kids that are in my life and that are around for me to get ready for school. I have a sore throat/runny nose but am overall healthy and have two feet to move me forward. I also have a job to go to which is paying my bills, keeping a roof over my head and food on the table. I'm also not the only person in the world that woke up with a sore throat so I'm not a victim and there are folks that woke up to worse situations than mine! I have taken one moment at a time today, have done the best I can at work, will go to a meeting tonight and will rest when I get home. I will survive. And being surrounded by program, I can put together a gratitude list to shift my thinking even on those days that I wake up and things aren't laid out all nice and neat for me.

 

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.

Showing Up…

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I have gradually learned via program to show up for myself. It may mean that I need to tell someone they have hurt my feelings, it may mean that I have to tell someone "no" at work or it may mean that I'm just my true, authentic self at all times. I spent so many years worrying about what others thought of me and constantly sought out advice. I never trusted my own decisions and needed to have the backing of others to let me know if I was on the right track. Program has taught me that I can make decisions on my own. I most definitely will make mistakes, but my choices are my choices. My goal in life is not to please others or do what I think others think that I should do. It's about God's will and waking up each morning knowing that he will guide me. And in the end, it is only his opinion that matters.

The opinions expressed here are those of the individual OA member and do not represent OA as a whole.